Many of you know that I have a law degree, and many of you have been following along long enough to remember how hard I fought to get that degree. It was painful and hard and exhausting. Once I graduated, I was so, so happy. Not only because all the exhaustion of law school while raising kids was over, but also because NOW, finally, I would be able to get a real job, contribute financially to my family, and really begin doing something with my life.

One and a half years post graduation, I sit here with no job and no idea when I will have one; and that's been pretty depressing. It has really gotten me down. All that work, all that sacrifice by not only me, but my whole family, and here I sit, jobless. With a degree that took me until I was almost thirty to obtain yet has done nothing more for me yet than hang on my wall. It's not that I regret it or wish I hadn't done it. On the contrary, I am dying to get out there and use my degree! I am just ready for that change, to go out there and help people and make a positive impact on the world like I dreamed I would. That was the whole reason for my law degree to begin with. I want to help people!

But here I sit with no gainful employment. It's been a buzz kill for sure. I've tried to reach out through a few avenues and nothing has panned out yet. That's disappointing. It seems like doors just aren't opening and while I am okay with that, because I never, ever want to force my way through a door God is keeping closed, I am still impatiently waiting for my door.

I've found myself hesitant at telling people that I'm a stay at home mom. Almost as if they will have some preconceived notions about me that aren't true. And let's be honest, some of them will. There is a stigma attached to being a stay at home mom, and it is just as disappointing to me that I feel almost ashamed to share with others that this is what I do day in and day out. I mean, I work really flipping hard. REALLY hard. And I don't get paid a single penny for it. Although I do get great hugs and the sweetest "I love you's" in the world. I sacrifice so much for my job: sleep, food, showers, personal time, personal space, relationships with others. The list goes on. I don't really see a reason to be ashamed and yet, I am.

And yes, of course I signed up for it. That still doesn't mean it isn't work. You filled out an application for your job, too, ya know. You asked for your job. And yes, every mother experiences this. I am not special in that respect. That still doesn't mean it's not work. My husband works at a center with 1,700 other people all working car and homeowner insurance. No one would dare say what he does isn't work.

Being a mom, whether stay at home or working, is truly a job and I'm tired of hearing that it's nor or feeling like I should be doing more. I'm tired of being disappointed that my career isn't panning out how I hoped when I am getting to spend my days with my two beautiful boys and never miss a single moment of their beautiful existence. There is no career on earth that I am more called to or that is more rewarding than this.

I wake up on someone else's schedule. I go to bed on someone else's schedule. I eat, bathe, and yes, pee, on someone else's schedule. I play the roll of not only mom, but also nurse, cook, driver, housekeeper, educator, therapist, 2nd string karate and violin teacher, health care coordinator, advocate, secretary, and more.

Doing all those things and doing them well takes a whole lot of my time and energy. So much so that there is little time to do much else, evening sleeping. I haven't gotten an appropriate amount of sleep in years. (All the mama's say amen!) I don't get days off, although sometimes I can slip away for a few hours for lunch with friends; and even then, I am calling or texting to check on the boys or coordinate something. I don't get sick days. I don't get breaks. I am on my job 24/7, and while I do get thank yous from my boys often because I'm raising little gentlemen, I am tired of feeling like I don't do enough or that what I am doing isn't as important as someone else because they make a salary.

My job is SO important. The job of mother is the foundation of our society. That goes for all mothers. My job is no different from so many other women out there who wear the title of "Mother."  This isn't a comparison game, so I won't say my job is more important than some other, but I will say that my job, the job of mama, is immeasurably important.

I am raising the future generation. I am raising future doctors, lawyers, or blue collar workers. I am raising the next Einstein or Mozart. The next farmer or factory worker. The next engineer or math teacher. I am raising future fathers and husbands who will one day give rise to the next generation. I am raising a someone who will have the opportunity to impact the world one day. I am raising someone whose existence will forever change the course of history, one way or another. It may be in a way that impacts many or just a few. Their lives may affect millions or just the few people they know. Either way, their lives will matter. Who they are will matter. I am trying my hardest to make sure their impact on the world is a positive one, and that takes even more work!

I'm done being ashamed to tell someone that I am dedicating my life and sacrificing my career for the raising of my kids. THEY are the most important thing there is. I work. HARD. and I am darn good at my job. At least my boys seem to think so. And that's what really matters.

And then, there are moms out there who sacrifice the exact opposite of me, but in no less sacrificial ways. They sacrifice being with their kids all day to go out and have a career and provide for their families. They spend their days at a job that pays so that they can give their kids what they need. They work every day and then come home and work some more. Don't tell me moming isn't a job.

I have been so worried about not having my law career all together just yet. I have been so concerned that at thirty years old, I'm not really doing anything with my life yet. How ridiculous. I am certainly doing something with my life. I am doing the most important thing with my life.